Part I
Africa, Tanzania, June 2026
The Start
I used to often play this ‘make a wish and trust the universe to answer back’ game when I was little.
I would think of something I wanted, or wished for, and I would say that if it rained that day, or some other random thing happened, then it meant it would come true.
Or I would squeeze my eyes shut while asking the universe if the boy I liked thought about me, then I would open a book at a whispered page number. The third line from the bottom up would give me the answer.
Never kept the score to this, but I do remember opening books at least a couple of times more when the answer was not exactly what I’d hoped for.
Time traveling in 2025
I was visiting my mom and foreseeing the impending doom of my almost 10-year relationship, so I dared to picture myself in 2026:
If I were alone, where would I travel in the summer of 2026 to salute the sun from a blue distance?
I couldn’t yet withstand the probability of such a lifequake, so I let the universe decide.
‘Dear universe,
Whatever first piece of news I see tomorrow on my feed, that will be my destination for 2026’
Universe, the next day: Zanzibar.
Me, after researching a bit: Good one, but not exactly appropriate for a 40 year old, solo, potentially heartbrokem traveler.
Universe in April 2026
Four months into my lifequake, and just days away from buying my tickets to Fuerteventura.
Universe: I’ll make her randomly open a youtube video about going on a safari and she’ll cry instantly. (She’s been crying when seeing any fury animal lately because she misses her – well I should say his – dog quite a bit. A a bit more than she misses the idea of him, strangely enough).
Me, one week after that video: 5-day Safari to Tanzania followed by 6 days on the beach in Zanzibar booked.
Also me, one month before the actual trip:
Since my past 10-year social-media life has been reduced to scarcely watching videos my mom, grandma and friends share on Facebook or Instagram, I had little dexterity when it came to connecting with people who had already done this.
So I planned everything with my two new friends: Gipy and Google, which led to way too much preparation, way too many things packed, and a ridiculous amount of overthinking – but that is a story for another chapter, maybe.
Trip Start
Excited somewhere way too deep and obviously anxious, I handed my 12 kg backpack over to my back, slung another 5 kg bag over my shoulder, took a blurry photo and a deep breath in, and closed the door on my ghostly ‘what ifs’.
Quite proud of myself and what I was about to do, I reached the airport with a constant reassuring voice in my eardrums:
‘Everything will be alright! Nothing bad is likely to happen every time you chase your dreams’.
Playful universe:
What about a little anxiety or malaria medication side effect to turn your period into a proper rainy-season experience?
I learned from a Netflix movie (completely unexpected, I know) that one can easily dry their clothes using the hand dryers. It was one of those dryiers where you have to put your hands inside, so my dress was quite ironed afterwards too.
Needless to say my 14-hour flight meant going to the bathroom every other hour (literally timed with an alarm) just to be sure I was done with ironing for the day.
So here I am in Kilimanjaro at 8:00 am, thinking how great it is that I have a whole day to visit the town, eat somewhere local, and get ready for my first safari the next day.
Little did I know, the moment I stepped in my pick-up car would actually be pretty close to my first safari.
The way to Arusha felt like the roads around my hometown and countryside, except for the dryness, the heat, and the tuk-tuks.
Arusha, on the other hand, and the place I was staying for the night was quite different. A couple of asphalted main roads, a lot of dirt pathways, houses with not doors or windows, people just gazing at the crazy traffic barefoot, or in sandals, but almost all wearing Sunday-like clothes (it was Sunday too).
Goats and dogs roaming free, and almost every house had at least one guardian – very often a group – dropping their body weight onto rocks, pieces of wood, buckets, whatever was at hand. Smoking fire pits made the already heavy and humid air carry the scents of food and burnt plastic qyuietly into my lungs and deeply into my head.
My brain simply couldn’t picture a safe, casual walk through all these unknowns. My soul was frenetically nodding, while my heart gently embraced my body, reminding me that self-care and slowing down were the last endeavours of the day.
I decided I had ventured far enough for the day and called it a day.
